I was sitting there and was thinking, I always say I love you, and I do, but I was wondering about the why. You know, not why I love you, but why I love you. I mean you gotta sort of have to have a reason right? Like, I love this food because it tastes good, I love this sweater because it feels nice, something that you can name, in some form.
Cause, ‘I love you, because’ is not really an argument. I mean of course the whole thing is based in emotion, like duuuh, it’s a freaking feeling, but yeah, I had to think about it more. And I like to understand, and if it’s only myself. Because I like to mean what I say, but in order to do that I first have to understand what I mean myself.
So I started analyzing what I feel and think and all that, and I do love me some analyzing, to figure out what my reasoning is for loving you.
I do like your eyes. They are warm and kind, and there is a depth in there. And if you are angry, they get even deeper, and I swear, those damn things change somehow in shape when you are angry.
And I love your body. The first body I have ever met that can get me aroused by just being, well, there. And I honestly would love to do a lot more exploring and looking, just to appreciate the whole thing thoroughly.
You smell good. Very very good. And you have the sweetest smile.
But well, that’s all kinda physical. And that’s just attraction and maybe lust. Ok, screw the maybe, definitely a lot of lusting.
But there is also a lot of non-physical stuff. You are kind and warm, and funny and charming, intelligent and confident, and arrogant and selfish sometimes, when the situation permits it.
And you have a sweetness about you, that always makes me wanna hold you tight. And then there is that little boy in you, that peaks out once in a while, and not nearly often enough, if you ask me.
And also, you make me a better person, simply because I want to be a better person because you are in my life. I want you to be able to be proud of the fact that you know me. Which is, by the way, a pretty freaky realisation.
You can ground me, and you can make me quiet and put me at rest. And I have never before met a person who could give me such utter peace and quiet in my head. Moments of simply existing. It still amazes me. I trust you, absolutely, without restrictions.
And, loving you just feels good. Sounds maybe kinda silly, but there it is. Loving you just feels good. It feels right. Like, this is how this shit is supposed to feel. And it can exist completely in it’s own right, that love. It doesn’t need reciprocation of any kind. It can just float there and exist, all nice and warm. It just is. Unconditional.
And after all this thinking and analyzing, I can confidently say, I love you. And I mean what I say and know what I mean.
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